THE DOCTOR’S REPORT ARIZONA 2008

INTRODUCTION

This year twelve of the Brethren (minus Kippy, Pedro or the Doctor) are heading to Arizona to try to capture the Yellow Sweater.  In the past, the Doctor has compared the individuals golfers with heroes, detectives, Shakespearean and Disney characters.  This year he relates the players in this band of brothers to the 1967 movie, “The Dirty Dozen”. Critics have often labeled it “the classic guy movie” as there are no significant women characters. The movie began the transition from the earlier  formats of John Wayne and Audie Murphy patriotic movies, to the more soul searching war genre movies of the 70s such as “Mash”, “The Deer Hunter”, “Apocalypse Now”, on to the more recent Mega films including “Pearl Harbor” and “Saving Private Ryan”.

This film was used as a star vehicle for both athletes and television personalities, and its ensemble cast contained many actors who would later appear in other war movies with other leads including  movies such as the “Great Escape”, and “Kelly’s Heroes”.  In many instances the Doctor will refer to other film characters the actor may have played to explain part of the reason for the selection of the golfer’s character.

Its plot is simple.  Shortly before D. Day, twelve soldiers who have committed crimes are assembled under a major and sergeant to go on a suicide mission to blow up a German castle where Generals and other officers drink and frolic with beautiful women to seriously damage the German chain of Command.  If any of them survive their record will be swept clean. In addition to the fourteen, a number of Allied generals and colonels planning this attack have significant roles. The actual attack in both the book and movie is secondary to the selection of men, the mission development and training of the squad.

The “Dirty Dozen” stands out among war movies because of when it was made (1967); at a time in America when support for the Vietnam War was shifting (and around the time Nelson was conceived).  Critics note that its director dealt with contemporary 1967 themes of individualism vs. collectivism, cultural relativism, internal and external racism, and their meanings with patriotism and duties in war, all of which related to issues with the Vietnam War.

It contained few likeable characters. All of the Dirty Dozen were criminals and along with the officers represent the good, bad and mediocre in wartime.  They are led by a Major who could not follow orders.  However, it is today best known by younger generations as the movie that Tom Hanks and Victor Garber cry about to Rita Wilson when comparing it to “An Affair to Remember” in the comedy “Sleepless in Seattle”.

The Doctor in this analysis considered the fact that, of the twelve golfers, the only ones who had not won a sweater, were Tom, and Billy Jake current pros and Dave Berliner an ex head pro.  For them to prevail they will have to be successful behind enemy lines, subject to attack from friend and foe alike with only one  to return alive from the battle fray wearing the Yellow sweater.

THE FIELD

An event that was once only a foursome first expanded to eight some and was a twelve-player group when the Doctor joined the tournament. It has grown at times to more than four foursomes but will be a fourteen-man field in Minnesota. As the numbers have increased the logistics have become more difficult. Getting four tee times and switching partners for the second round during the thirty-six hole days is often difficult. This is particularly true in Arizona where there are less hours of sunlight. The significantly lower cost of the Minnesota trip as well as the time of year and access to the courses has contributed to an increase in the size of this field. This has also increased the burden on our genial hosts Roger and Shirley Madsen, whose home and cottages they open to the Yellow Sweater brethren. The use of the recreational vehicle for transport of all the players is no longer possible. This has resulted in SUV’s also needing to being driven. This breaks up some of the experience for those left to ride in the old folks car, and has resulted in changing the days when we return from Minnesota. This year all will return on Saturday from Thumper Pond. All of the golfers except Ken that encompass the field play together regularly at Dodge or in Council Bluffs or Omaha. While a few people have dropped out for the most part once you have become one of the brethren you are one for life. However this does create significant difficulty in the pairings as will be discussed below. Of most recent significance is the fact that children’s and spouse’s activities now often are the deciding factor in whether an individual can make the trip.

What truly has amazed the Doctor is the relationship among the players in the group and the lack of acrimony among the players. These men are loyal to each other, although listening to the comments a casual passerby would be suspect. What is clearest is that everyone has a very competitive instinct, and a fierce love of golf.

The original four men who started the event have always handled the selection of new invitees.

COURSES and VENUES

Minnesota in the fall and Arizona in the spring. This is the tradition. While other locations than Scottsdale have been discussed the ease of flights and consistent good weather, is an overriding factor. Although the courses have become outrageously expensive, and reasonable accommodations more costly despite efforts by recent brethren Dave Berliner with his connections out west to keep prices low. Arizona is a four times a more expensive trip than the fall trip North.

Suggestions have been to add a third event at Prairie Dunes where three of the Brethren currently belong and a fourth is on the waiting list. As children grow up and schedules become full, this may become a more realistic alternative, or the size of the group may eventually be reduced in both fall and spring.

Kris, Tom, Ward, John, Dave and Tins have consistently worked at getting the best rates at good courses. As the quality of courses has improved, and certain courses have been taken out of the rotation, it is more apparent, that the choice of courses has not been as big an influence on recent champions. While the available venues in the Minnesota are significantly less than in Arizona, new courses such as Whispering Creek, Oxbow, Thumper Pond, and other nearby courses have resulted in play at Detroit Lakes becoming less important in the determination of the champion, much to the regret of five time champion Ward Prine who stars at that venue, where he also plays in a top amateur tournament each year as a warm up for the Sweater.

HANDICAPS

It should be no surprise to the yellow sweater readers that the politicking for strokes began over two months before the scheduled trip.  The Doctor, who has always been considered a brilliant handicapper (presuming he is not in the field), discovered that a month before his report was due - trial balloons were sent up and alliances were already forming.  The audience is familiar with the arguments about the GHIN handicaps, whether the strokes should be based on play at Dodge, other course or only sweater venues, the tees to be played, recent play, equitable stroke adjustment, the difference between match and medal scores and past performance. Each of these has been hashed out the last month.

Two new issues are the claim that everyone should have a handicap voted them rather than be voted off the best player, and that many believe Ward may no longer be the CHALK.  Ward has complicated this by insisting he will not take any strokes.  In an effort to please everyone the Doctor will list each of the players the character role they match, the actors, the amount of strokes they need against par and the number against the field to have everyone have an equal chance.

Bill
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Pedro Jimenez (Trini Lopez)
1.5                  ZERO

Bill has never won a sweater; until he has one he remains a minor character,  Bill is by far the best golfer in the group.  In the movie he plays a guitar and is supposed to cut the cable shutting off communications to the German high command.  He is a likable character who is treated well in the first two parts of the movie but who dies when parachuting into Germany. (Apparently Trini’s agent wanted more money so he was killed off early).  It is this character’s death that Tom Hanks cries about in ‘Sleepless” Like Jimenez in past sweaters, Billy has often started with great promise only to not be present at the finish.  A recent example being his and Jeff’s poor showing in the Dodge Cup where Gallner and Hughes won the first flight.

Billy has beaten Ward like a drum this year, as well beating everyone else including the Doctor.  The fact that Jeff will not be on the trip may help or be a hindrance to him and there is some talk that young Bill Cutler’s desire to join the sweater brethren may have been delayed, not because of Cutler’s waffling about his schedule and failure to summit a timely request before Mike G. a proven winner signed on; but instead, because of the formable pairing Cutler and Billy Jake made this year at Dodge.  

None the less, Billy Jake is better than Ward, and while the old warhorse is not ready to go to the rendering plant yet only his pride and competitiveness will account for Billy not giving him strokes BILL is the base everyone else’s handicap should be calculated from.     ZERO

Ward
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Jefferson (Jim Brown)
2 and ½                  One

Generally regarded as the best athlete , although not a Division One player like Berliner or Nauman, even at middle age Ward appears to be the stud in the group.  In the Dirty Dozen  Jefferson is expected to handle the most athletic role and after the generals are trapped in the basement of the Château is supposed to run a gauntlet of air shafts dropping hand grenades in each,  Unfortunately he is killed before he can reach safety.  In the movie he is well liked and indeed appears to have been wrongfully accused, similar to Ward’s recent experience with the Riverside Grille.  However it is his past athletic accomplishments when after college he and Don Nelson’s son were the only white college players on the basketball team in Europe and his renowned punching power; that make him a natural for the Jim Brown role.  Brown retired from professional football during the making of this film and the Doctor believes that Ward will need to surrender the title of best golfer on this trip. Like Brown; Ward is a multi-sport athlete and he may need to look to the senior league in one of those activities to continue as Numero Uno.

All this being said, Ward is a warrior and plays his best under pressure.  He will not give up  without a fight and although a distant memory still has the best scratch performance is sweater competition. His pride will not let him win a sixth sweater with strokes, but age catches us all.  Ward is hitting his driver well now, but that comes and goes.  He needs from one half to one against  Billy Jake.  The Doctor would give him less, but the pairings could cost him more.  Slow play remains as issue.  It may be just he can’t move as fast as he used to.  Out of pride he will play as a ZERO

Dave
General Denton (Robert Webber)
3 and ½              2 and ½

Like Billy Jake, Dave has never won and must therefore be cast in a minor role.  However Denton is vitally important as the aide de camp to General Worden played Ernest Borgnine ,the General in charge of the whole attack plan.  While he does not go on the actual mission it is frequently his role to resolve the differences between Colonel Breed played by Robert Ryan and Lee Marvin, the major John Reisman.  This supporting role is played well by   Dave both in planning these trips as well as his work at Silverstone.  Dave as a past pro and great baseball player only deserves strokes because of lack of play and is difficult to handicap but he will be expected to be there at the end. Berliner  threatened for the title his first year as a Rookie and  if he played half as much as most of the field would be even or better than Billy Jake.

Denton is one of the truly good guys in the movie and this is similar to Dave with this group.  Robert Webber is probably the least known actor but you may recall him in the Television show, “Moonlighting” which jumpstarted Bruce Willis’s career. 

Dave has been voted anywhere from three to less than two; while he has shown signs of going low, he does have more erratic scores than others.  He is a great putter, but his short game will decide how well he plays.  He needs at least two from Ward, but he has to earn his first sweater.  Two and One Half from Billy Jake is the correct number.

Mike
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Major Armbruster (George Kennedy)
Six and 1/2              Five

Major Armbruster is a classic army officer, he expects discipline and that everyone will follow the rules. However he also has a feeling of sympathy for the Dirty Dozen.  He is the individual who tries to help Major Reisman and is the official who travels with the squad when they are attempting to capture Colonel Breed’s men in a mock assault before going into Germany.  This is the same type of character that Kennedy played in numerous other movies.  Michael; the oldest golfer on this trip; has many of these same old fashioned values.  He abhors slow play; will not play PD with temporary green and until recently religiously kept his handicap and usually short changed him. Mike expects integrity from him and others, but can be rigid on some opinions. He does not try to manipulate the system; and expects honor from everyone.  However Mike is a good old boy and wants to be friends with everyone and never believes badly of another person until he is faced with reality. Mike like Armbruster is a good old guy everyone enjoys.  As a side note they both had silver hair earlier than age would have suggested.

George Kennedy has played the sidekick or second banana in countless television shows and movie, frequently as an official who is in over his head.   The audience will easily recognize Kennedy in any role.  He seldom plays the bad guy because of his affable attitude.  He starred in two cop shows the Blue Knight and Crime in America; as well as played a priest a common role for him in “Sarge”: as an ex-police officer on television.

Mike will have played in the South in January and has a great swing, he was playing the best of anyone in late fall.  He has a new set of irons and has been hitting the driver well.  He did hurt his shoulder recently and has added a few pounds, but what has been amazing is his improved putting.  He has shown in the past he can putt well with this group, and experimented last year with a belly putter.  He will adjust well to different courses, but his social willingness to drink with the boys may help him on the golf course, but at his age could be a distraction at night.  Without the Doctor along; Mike may not be able to keep his competitive attitude and become too social, therefore instead of four the Doctor thinks he needs closer to five.  Five is right

Tom
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Sgt Clyde Bowren (Richard Jaeckel)
Seven                    SIX 

Sergeant Bowren is second in command to Major Reisman and goes on the mission. Although injured he does survive. Like Tom he is short of stature, but strong on character, Bowren runs interference for the Dirty Dozen with  the Major, although there is no doubt he is a tough hombre.  His ability to survive as contrasted with the Dirty Dozen is evidence of his toughness and character.  Tom is the local pro, but not the best golfer.  T.P. often defers to the protests of more vocal members; however this should never be interpreted as an indication of weakness.

Perhaps no actor is more similar to Tom in the sweater.  Jaeckel had numerous starring roles, but never as the lead role to carry the movie. Extremely competent and well respected, he was always one of the guys whether a villain or victim. Jaeckel  also was frequently seen in television comedy shows  “At Ease”, a detective  in “Banyon”  a detective in “Baywatch”,  a fireman in “Firehouse”, the advance man in ‘Frontier Circus”, the FBI agent in “Salvage”, a detective Lieutenant in” Spenser for Hire” and a Master Chief in the military drama “Supercharger” all supporting roles. 

Tom has been cursed in not winning a sweater, this is in part because of early expectations for a while because of lack of play and recently because of bad luck.  However, after this much time  the Brethren cannot enable T. P.  He needs to earn it.  His handicaps have repeatedly allowed him to win the Calcutta’s The Brethren have been far too generous of late. He does not need more than Six off of Ward, and frankly that may be too much.  He will be there like the sergeant when they march down the eighteenth hole.  However he has to be in the fight, and not so comfortable he doesn’t have to play well.  He played better this fall   Because the Sweater was decided on the eighteenth hole among Tom Kris and John the Doctor feels the three should be adjusted the same. Six is fair against the field. 

Scott
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Pinkley (Donald Sutherland)
Seven                          SIX

The Doctor found this to be the second easiest character assignment.  Not only are Sutherland and Critter similar in height and physical appearance but both in this movie and in many other movies with Sutherland at this time he plays a soldier who is a little off the wall. And not quite there.  Whether it is his character in “Mash” as a goofy Doctor in Korea or as the tank commander in Kelly’s Heroes, he is always the funniest character in the room without saying a thing.  Posey in this movie serves the same function.

Sutherland has had a long successful career in both television and the movies first in “Klute” with Jane Fonda; then as the professor in “Animal House” and most recently in the “Italian Job”, and now on “Dirty Filthy Money”.

Scott is always the most difficult to handicap. I have bought him in the Calcutta after he won the year before and he finished dead last.  Once a pro; he has great talent and can hit it with anyone. He can win with  six or lose with ten. In this instance the Doctor does not feel Mike can give him more than one and Scott should play Tom even.

Junior
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Posey (Clint Walker)
Eight                         SEVEN

Strong silent type, hard to anger but does not like to get pushed around, good guy, who doesn’t know his own strength, tries to obey the rules.  Sounds like Junior to me.  Probably the most likeable of the Dirty Dozen you get the feeling he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, which up until recently was Junior’s job. With the change in jobs and hairstyle and the fact that he has been playing more he is a factor to be reckoned with.

Clint Walker  prior to this movie had been a successful television actor in two westerns

Bronco Layne and  Cheyenne and  later in one short lived series as a modern day marshal in Kodiak.  A movie character actor he hoped this would rekindle his film career after Cheyenne went off the air in 1963.  Walker had served in World war two in the Merchant Marines.

Junior has always had game.  J.P.  like Dave and Tom does not play as much as the rest.  A quick player, he can be distracted, and his distance on some of these courses could be a problem with staying in the fairways. He needs a stroke from Critter and Tom and probably one a side from Mike G.  He could be  six and one half but that would favor the high handicap players to much.

Ken
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Wladislaw (Charles Bronson)
Eight and  ½            Seven and 1/2

The only one of the Dirty Dozen to survive, Charles Bronson used this role to become a starring lead in action films for the next twenty years, as well as at times as a leading man with his wife Jill Ireland.  Bronson had been in the Army in World War Two.  Throughout the movie he is the one criminal who the Major thinks may have been innocent and who becomes the major’s closest ally of the Dirty Dozen.  The most famous line of the movie is his at the end in the hospital when he says, “This killing generals could become a habit.”  Appropriately the only Colonel on the golf trip has this line. Of the Dirty Dozen, he was the only ex officer; who had killed another officer a coward who had endangered his men.

Like Bronson, Ken has always taken pride in his physical strength and toughness and also has allowed his other T.J. cronies to do the talking.  Ken fears no bet nor any game; and taking the safe play has recently only become an option.  Like Bronson in Mr. Majestic, Ken does at time have questionable fashion tastes, but success has not spoiled him.

The Doctor has always considered Ken the partner to go into a fight with on the golf course just like Lee Marvin selects him in the Dirty Dozen.  Ken’s handicap has been going down; and his athletic ability may be second only to Ward. Ken is still a little better than the Madsen brothers; and the Seven and One Half is the same handicap the Doctor would give himself if going on the trip.  Ken has gone the longest of any of the sweater winners on the trip without a win, he is due.

Kirk
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Maggot (Telly Savalas)
9 and ½ to-10           Eight

Yes, Kirk has been chosen to represent the worst character of the dirty Dozen, Archer J. Maggot, the religious fanatic with definite psychological problems who is a rapist and murder. Yes, this is the man the Doctor labeled Uncle Scrooge less than six months ago.

Why then Maggot?  Granted everyone understands why Fritz would have psychological problems having Kris as his brother.  His obsession with women who are not good for him is becoming apparent.  His elderly appearance compared to the rest of the group is similar to Maggot in the movie as is the fact that both are extremely physical strong individuals.

What was the deciding factor is Fritz’s ability to manipulate all these facts to his advantage.  Witness his illness in 2006 on the plane, he truly almost died resulting in one of the greatest sympathy votes since John Wayne in “True Grit”.  To hear Fritz now he had been in terrible pain for months though working out regularly and competing with Ward in what can only be described as the dating equivalent of  Extreme Sports. Maggots live off decaying flesh, and as the returning Arizona champion, who is now healthy he should play to his potential.  Fritz has won four sweaters and would be tied with Ward but for his collapse in the desert that allowed Peter to win his sweater.

It is important to note that Savalas had been in World War Two in the Army and was in a number of other  war movies including “Kelly’s Heroes”. He typically because of his appearance played villains until his defining television role of Inspector Kojak from 1973-1979 and then again from 1989 to 1990 He was an acclaimed actor who starred early in his career in many of the television anthologies 

Kirk is not as good a scorer  as his brother, and can’t  putt as well.  However he can go lower and when focused is as fierce a competitor.  This field without any true high handicappers is likely to favor Fritz who enjoys comfortable pairings.  Fritz, like Mike G. often becomes more concerned with how others in his foursome are playing to his disadvantage.  This field would suggest that he will have partners that will not put significant pressure on him.  The Doctor because of Fritz’s four sweaters and recent victories would have voted him the same as Ken, except as Kirk will tell you “he is still recuperating”.

Kris
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Major Reisman (Lee Marvin)
Nine               Eight

While many readers might consider this as a  no brainer, the truth is that Kris has many of the characteristics of Marvin’s  nemesis  Colonel  Breed  who was  played by Robert Ryan.  It is Reisman who is the maverick not the solid soldier Breed  who questions whether the mission is worthwhile and whether or not Reisman is the man for the job.

Kris seems more appropriately cast as the fixer;  James Garner’s role in the” Great Escape”.

Madsen is more conservative than the Major and less likely to take great risks, but he has two characteristics that require his selection to this position.  One he is still the leader of this group, that he has helped to select and assemble over the years; and two he is able to manipulate the brethren to do what he wants, whether it be tee times, bookings , handicaps etc.  Every round at Dodge he approaches as a battle to be won not only on the first tee but also to be fought whenever any opponent raises his head.  Like Reisman, the Dirty Dozen or more of golfers who play with Kris, all have one goal to beat him.  Also like Marvin’s character, Kris often has his subordinates do the dirty work for him.

In the Dirty Dozen,  Reisman works the men until they yield to do his bidding, what analogy is more appropriate for H.  Despite his Lewis Central address and his taste for Scotch and fine wines, he is still a T.J. blue jeans guy that inspires golfers to follow his lead.

Lee Marvin had been a marine in World War II.  By the time he made this movie he was a well established actor starring as Liberty Valance with John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart, and later as a comedic actor in “Cat Ballaou” with Jane Fonda. He later starred in the Delta Force movies.  Marvin was an extremely versatile television actor appearing in the fifties, sixties and seventies in the Alcoa Theater, Kraft Theatre and other anthologies regularly. He starred in  “M Squad” as a homicide police detective and was in movies the beginning in the fifties in character roles until his death.

Kris’s game has improved dramatically the last year. He has new distance  a slight draw and no longer  has weaknesses out of the sand. His new irons have contributed but those who know him best realize that he has merely improved his game as better layers have arrived and others have sharpened their games.  Billy Cutler, Nick Vondrak, Billy Jacobsen, Mike Gallner now playing more at Dodge with Junior and T.P. and the group clearly forced him to make more birdies and pars and with not having Ward all the time has had to be the “A” player more frequently.  He cannot now always win the hole with a double bogey or sweep with a bogey, and often has to birdie to avoid a loss it is no surprise to the Doctor that Kris plays better when he needs to.  Kris could be a five or six, it is a question whether his psyche will allow it.  Perhaps Kris is to focused playing the “game” that he can’t really play the game when he needs to.  He does not need strokes from Ken or Kirk but still needs one a side from Tom and Scott and probably the same three Mike has to give the Doctor.

John
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General Worden (Ernest Borgnine)
Thirteen       11and ½

Although Colonel Breed is Major Reisman’s nemesis, it is Ernest Borgnine as General Worden who truly has the power over the Major. As much an ally as a rival, this also reflects the unique friendship that has developed between John and Kris. While Kris, like the major, will get his hands dirty - it is John who provides leadership but stays above the fray. While some might say the first crack in the Sweater brethren’s armor began when Tinley, the Doctor and Billy Jake first went to Arizona years ago; it was the next fall when John appeared in Minnesota that the battle for leadership and Sweaters truly began.  Since that time neither Ward, Kris nor Ken has won a sweater while John has two and Tins one.  Even Kris’s blood relation has been captured by John; and the fear is now of a threepeat by SilverStone Group.  Billy Cutler’s appearance and desire to soon become a sweater brother is as telling a sign as John joining Prairie Dunes this summer.  John has the sweater and the power in the group is starting to shift.

Ernest Borgnine like many of the other main characters had seen action in WWII  in the Navy.  A gifted comedy actor as well he is well known for his role in “McHale’s Navy” and his other character roles.  Borgnine also starred in the show “Airwolf” in the late 80’s on televisions and was on numerous anthology shows and playhouses on television as well as character roles in movies.  He was married to the famous stage actress and signer Ethel Merman.

John is the current Sweater champion.  His first great victory was when he won the Top Sixty against the Doctor nearly fifteen years ago. Last summer, he not only beat up on Kris regularly, but came in second in the Charles Craig Classic with the Doctor where John made friends with Bill Murray and golfers from around the United States. This January he came in second in a two day pro-am playing with partners Bernard Langer and Gil Morgan.

The Doctor has long believed that John could be as good a golfer as his Uncle Steve “Chachi” Nelson, who has viewed the Doctor as his nemesis for a quarter of a century at Lakeshore.  John had confided a story to the Doctor that he has allowed me to repeat. Prior to the pro am John was taking a lesson from one of the local pros and was struggling.  While on the practice range a fellow who was hitting balls next to them came over and made a few suggestions, changing John’s stance, his grip a little; and got him to drive hard from the inside rather than outside. John continued hitting shots and chatting with the gentlemen for he next hour. Turns out the fellow used to know Hilgie and Hilg buddy Lonnie Nelson from Iowa.  That golfer’s name was Peter Jacobsen. Chachi - your time as the best golfer in the family is limited.

John won at a twelve in Minnesota, and he must come down even though Arizona is more difficult.  Although he has been playing with some pros, the Sweater brethren are a much tougher field. John could be knocked as low as eleven, but I think he still needs more than four in medal play from Kris - so 11 and one half is appropriate.

Chris
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Victor Franko (John Cassevetes)
Fifteen and ½        14 and1/2

Smart ass, wise guy, made man, proud of his ethnic heritage willing to take on any comers, sounds like Tins right.  Well there is no character in the Dirty Dozen who mirrors

one of our golfers as does Frank to Chris Tinley.  Franko is a Jersey mafia guy, who gets drafted and arrested for murder.  No wonder the TJ and Dodge park mafia have never frightened Chris.  Sound like a comparison to our own Creighton Prep, Irish democrat Tinley.  Franko is constantly looking for the edge and how to escape, always questions authority and does not back down when out numbered or faced with superior strength.  Franco is the last of the Dirty Dozen to be killed shot thru the back. As they are driving away thinking they have escaped.

John Cassevetes is a brilliant actor and director who played character roles for years  on stage screen and television, starring in many of the theatre and anthology shows in the fifties, sixties and seventies. 

Chris Tinley has demons.  When he is not hitting his drive two fairways right or left, or shanking his chips he is brilliant.  Chris has never played Arizona well but scrambles and putts well under pressure.  Chris is the Doctor’s choice as his partner for the Charles Craig Classic this fall, and his handicap may be anywhere from Single digits to close to twenty.   Chris has won in Minnesota where he could find his ball but the desert is another story.  Clearly the highest handicap on the trip; if  the lower golfers average less than 75 he does not have a chance,  If Kris can average below ninety he should contend.

He needs more than six in stroke play from Kris Madsen, and is getting one more from John than Doctor would normally give because of the reduction for John being the current winner.   Fourteen and 1/2 is correct.

DOCTOR'S PROGNOSIS

While I believe these handicaps will create the most level playing field for all golfers and everyone has a reasonable chance to win; at the current sweater holder’ request I  offer the following opinions as to the outcome.

Of the four low handicaps; Ward is most likely to prevail, with Dave and his strokes a serious factor.  He would be the favorite but still not sure he has the sweater mentality; unfortunately he plays with an attitude too much like the Doctor for his own good

Among Tom , Critter, Junior and Ken; it is still Tom’s event to win.  The Doctor may still  be too generous with Tom. The winner could easily come out of this field.  Ken is always a threat and the pairings should suit him since there will be action everywhere.

As to the Madsen boys and The Prepsters ; Kirk and Tins leave more questions than Kris and John. Our current Sweater winner has shown more Grit than my law partner recently.

The attentive reader will note that this is similar to the survivors at the end of the movie.

John and Dave (the general played by Borgnine and his aide).  Kris  ( Major Reisman, Lee Marvin); Tom  (the sergeant )  Ken ( the ex officer Charles Bronson) all survive.  Only Ward’s character perished on the mission.  The Doctor thinks Ward giving up the stroke he needs will also be his undoing.  John, Kris and Tom were there at the end in Minnesota; but this is a great war movie so the Doctor goes with the COLONEL.

CONCLUSION

Although the nightly hot tub baths will keep the group from literally being the dirty dozen, the characters are far more similar than they would like to admit.  The fact there is only a fourteen stroke handicap from best to worst is a first, and the difference may be less than that.  Pairings and tees will probably be the difference, but since the Doctor isn’t going that’s up to someone else probably Franco  (Oops, Tinley) to bitch about.  Have fun.

 

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